Math
by XionRoxas1314
Summary: Link's cousin, Marth, visits Ordon Village. MARTH IS NOT FROM FIRE EMBLEM JUST SOME RANDOM PRINCE WITH THAT NAME! Anyways, please R&R! Discontinued.
1. Chapter 1 Link's Cousin

_Math_

**Author's note: This is a story that my sister (2BangsAndAKick) and I worked on. I don't own Zelda or Fire Emblem, Nintendo does. Enjoy :) PS: Don't be mad if you like Marth and hate Ilia.**

_Chapter 1- Link's Cousin_

"Let's see...pour the mixture in and stir it the 'sum of three and two' times," Ilia read. In one hand was a wooden bowl of rubbery dough and in the other was a mathematical cookbook. "The number that's the sum of three and two....sum means minus...." she did some calculated before she concluded, "twenty-three! And really fast I see," she commented, reading the book. "Okay, here I go!" she exclaimed. She started vigorously spinning the wooden spoon around in the bowl, sending the rubber dough flying haphazardly, covering the kitchen. Ilia stepped back to admire her work. "Link will love his birthday cake!"

"No he won't," a voice remarked. Ilia looked out the window, only to find herself facing a dashing young man with dark blue hair.

"Huh?" Ilia asked stupidly.

"I said," the man repeated, leaning in closer, "Link won't like his birthday cake."

Ilia blinked. The young man was so distractingly handsome it literally took her six seconds to realize what he had said. "WHY NOT!?" she fumed.

"Because he doesn't like you," the man replied.

"How do you know?!" Ilia exclaimed, stomping her bare foot.

"Cause he's my cousin," he answered simply.

"C-c-cousin?" Ilia stuttered. Nervously wringing her hands together she said, "I didn't know Link had a cousin."

"Why shouldn't he?" the young man asked, casually resting a gloved arm on the windowsill.

"No reason," Ilia realized thoughtfully. "But still! You have no right to say that my Link won't like my birthday cake! I'm the only one giving him a present!" she declared proudly.

"Well, if you don't mind," the man said, looking amused, "I'd like to give him one too."

Ilia looked defeated. She was so sure that being the only person thoughtful enough to remember Link's birthday would have scored major points with him, but this stranger was too special to refuse... "No, I don't mind," she muttered.

"Don't look sad," the young man comforted. He lifted up Ilia's chin with a bandaged hand, surprising her a little. "Link's not the guy for you."

Ilia stared into the stranger's eyes. His hand under her chin, his heartwarming smile, his caring eyes - everything about him felt so... right. _"Maybe he's right..."_ Ilia thought._ "Maybe Link's not the man for me... Maybe this guy is-"_

"Ilia! I'm home!" Her father's voice interrupted the romantic moment. The young man quickly withdrew his hand and looked somewhat ashamed.

"Sorry," he apologized. He started to leave.

"Wait!" Ilia called frantically, sticking her head out the window. She couldn't just let the stranger disappear. "Sorry for what? And don't leave!"

The young man turned around and smiled at her. _"She's so kind..."_ he thought. "I'm sorry for touching you," he explained.

"Oh, that," Ilia said, dismissing it with a wave of her hand. "It's fine. I mean, it was just my chin..."

"Ilia, who are you talking to?" Mayor Bo asked, walking up to the window.

"I don't know!" Ilia replied honestly.

The young man smiled. _"She's funny too..."_ he thought.

"How is that possible?" Bo asked as he came in sight. When he saw the stranger he was little bit surprised.

"It's my fault, good sir," the young man said, stepping closer. "I forgot to introduce myself to your lovely daughter here." Ilia blushed. "My name is Marth," the stranger finished.

"Marth," Ilia repeated dreamily. Then she remembered something. "Oh! My name is Ilia! And this is my father, Bo. He's the mayor."

"Pleasure to meet you both," Marth said, shaking the mayor's hand.

"How much money do you make, boy?" Bo asked suddenly.

Marth was surprised by the question. So was Ilia.

"Daddy!" Ilia complained. Turning to Marth she apologized, "I'm sorry about my father."

"No; it's fine," Marth replied, smiling. Then, addressing Bo he said, "I'm not currently making any money but I have-" he chose his words carefully, "-_some_ left."

"How much is some?" Bo asked.

Ilia had had enough. "DADDY!" she scolded, "Stop being so nosey! Money's not important!"

"Yes, you're right," Bo chuckled, patting Ilia's head. Turning to Marth he said, "Please accept my apologies."

"Apology accepted," Marth said, bowing out of sincerity. He glanced at the afternoon sky. "Oh," he realized, "I must be on my way. My cousin is expecting me."

"His cousin?" Bo asked Ilia.

"Link," Ilia explained. Addressing Marth she asked, "Are you staying with him?"

"Yes; for a few weeks," Marth replied.

Ilia was gladdened to hear this. "Great!" she exclaimed. "Maybe I can cook you some cookies or something while you're here!"

Marth's mind immediately wandered back to Ilia's cooking conversation he had overheard, but, instead of declining he laughed fondly. "I'd like that," he said sincerely.

"No, you wou-" Bo started to object, but Ilia covered his mouth.

"Great!" Ilia told Marth quickly. "I'll have them ready for you tomorrow morning! See you then?" She looked hopeful.

Marth smiled kindly. "See you then," he confirmed. He gently took Ilia's free hand and kissed it. With that, he walked away.

Ilia sighed dreamily.

"Link gets more money than him," Bo remarked. That shook Ilia out of dream land. "You should still go after him."

"Daddy, I never said I liked Marth," Ilia stated. "But how can you be so sure Link has more money? Link doesn't even have a job! Just that wealthy Zelda friend..." she muttered the last part.

"I'm sorry," Bo apologized. "I just want you to be happy."

"I'd be happy with the poorest man on earth if he was the one for me," Ilia explained.

"That's my girl," Bo said, patting Ilia on the back. Sitting down at the dinner table he asked, "So are you finally over Link?"

"I don't know," Ilia replied truthfully. She returned to her cooking. "I've been chasing Link for so long... but Marth... Marth is different than any man I've ever met..."

"Yeah, he actually might like you," Bo snickered.

"What was that, Sofee?" Ilia asked, hands on her hips.

"Sofee?" Bo asked, laughing.

"Oh, never mind," Ilia said, dismissing it with a wave of her spoon.

"So, Daddy, who brought us dinner today?" Ilia inquired, her stomach growling.

Bo chuckled. "Brought? What do you mean brought? I cooked!" He struck a pose with a wooden spoon.

"Oh, no!" Ilia groaned. Her father took the large pot from the stove and set in on the table.

"Dig in!" Bo exclaimed merrily.

Ilia peered into the pot. Inside was chunky green liquid that was blooping. She had to think quickly. "Wait!"

Bo looked surprised. "Huh?"

"We....we can't have this meal without cornbread!" she came up with.

The mayor slapped his forehead. "Of course! How could I be so foolish?"

"Well, you go make some while I....go play outside!" With that, Ilia raced out the door into the village.

"Hey Ilia!" a voice called out, stopping the bum dead in her nutty tracks.

"Front and center, Colin!" Ilia replied bossily. The boy quickly complied.

Saluting, he stated, "Private Colin, reporting for duty, ma'am!"

"At ease," Ilia dismissed. "What brings you here?"

"I just wanted to know if you knew about Link's cousin," Colin explained.

Ilia started to sweat. "Um...why would you wanna know about Marthypoo-I MEAN MARTH!" she asked nervously.

"Marth? Is that his name?" Colin inquired. "Cool."

"Isn't it, though?" Ilia asked dreamily.

"Huh?" Colin was confused. "I thought you said that 'Link' was the coolest name..."

"I did?" Ilia asked regretfully. "Well I was... um... drunk!"

Colin gasped, looking appalled. "Ilia! You don't drink! Do you?"

"Of course not!" Ilia replied. "But something made me crazy enough to say that Link's name is cool! I think I might be allergic to corn..."

"Then why did you tell your father to make corn bread?" Colin inquired.

"You heard me? And ACK! I can't eat that cornbread!" Ilia exclaimed in horror. "If I do, I'll go crazy again and I might be mean to Marth!"

"I think you're crazy already..." Colin muttered and he walked away.

"Great. Now what?" Ilia said to herself. "Maybe...hmm..."suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around, only to see Marth standing there.

"Hi again, Ilia," he said.

"ACK! MARTH! How long were you standing there?" Ilia asked nervously.

"Oh, only for a second. Why?" Marth asked.

"No reason!" Ilia fibbed. "So... um... how's Link's house doing for you?"

"It's fine. Not outstanding, but I've stayed in worse," Marth replied.

Ilia chuckled. "Yeah, it _is_ pretty plain," she remarked. "By the way, where is Link?" Ilia didn't want to see Link; she just wanted to make conversation with the dashing man.

"Oh, he went to visit Hyrule Castle again. But he'll be back tomorrow. Think you can wait that long?" he asked chuckling.

"What do you mean?" Ilia asked, getting somewhat angry. But never before had she been this fired up to deny that she liked Link. "He's just my friend."

"Right," Marth acknowledged, bowing politely. "Well I was just heading to the ranch to pick up my horse."

"Can I come with you?" Ilia asked eagerly. "I-I mean...to show you the ropes! You know, like a tour..."

Marth smiled. "I'd like that." So he and Ilia went off into the sunset...


	2. Chapter 2 Mayor's Daughter in the Straw

Chapter 2 - Mayor's Daughter in the Straw

"This way," Ilia instructed Marth as he led his rental horse out of Ordon Ranch.

"Where are we going?" Marth asked.

"To the general store. Sera is having a big sale: fifty percent off socks!" Ilia explained geekily.

Marth looked down at Ilia's bare feet, then back up at her face. "So you usually wear shoes and socks?" he inquired.

"ME!? WEAR shoes and socks!? NEVER!" Ilia exclaimed. "I like to rough it the way the hobbits do!" She punched at the air in front of her with her fists.

Behind her Marth laughed merrily. "But hobbit feet are designed to be bare," he pointed out.

"Well, I must say that _my_ feet have adjusted quite well to all this bareness," Ilia said proudly, lifting up her right foot and examining the bottom. Her heel was dry and close to cracking. "They _could_ stand a little lotion, though," she admitted, as she returned her foot to the dusty ground.

"Why, then, are you so excited about half-priced socks?"

"Because, with the price cut, socks are the cheapest thing Sera has to sell," Ilia explained as they crossed the foot bridge over Ordon Stream.

Marth chuckled. "But are you going to buy them, even if you're not going to wear them?" he asked curiously.

"You bet all your sweet molasses on a roulette wheel I will!" Ilia exclaimed.

"But why would you buy them if you're not going to wear them?" he asked, amused but confused.

Ilia swiftly halted and turned to face him. She stared at him with a blank expression and blinked. "Why else? To hang them on my wall!" she declared. Far off in the distance, a bird sang, 'cookoo'.

In spite of all the dumb ideas Ilia had, Marth liked her very much. [Cue angry Marth fan girls...]. In fact, he thought her dumb ideas were creative and cute. He was thoroughly enjoying every second he spent with her. But, before he could tell her so, Link appeared.

"Are you gonna have the socks framed?" the green-clad hero [No, it's not Luigi. And it's totally NOT Cosmo. She's not a hero; she's a zero!] teased.

"Oh, hey, Link," Ilia said casually.

Link looked confused, but very happy; this was the first time Ilia was casual around him! "Hey," he replied, trying hard not to shout "FINALLY YOU'VE SEEN THE LIGHT!" Turning to Marth he added, "Hey, Cousin."

"Hello," Marth said, somewhat confused. "You have returned already?"

"No, not really," Link explained. "I just forgot to buy hay for my horse Epona. It's a long journey and she can't travel on an empty stomach.

"Well, I'm sure Sera has some on sale, Link," Ilia said. "Why don't you go ahead of us and buy some?"

Link was about to leave when Marth stopped him. "Wait, Cousin, I want to ask you something," he said. "Why are you visiting Hyrule?"

Link's face turned red. "N-no reason," he fibbed.

Marth could see through his cousin's masquerade. "Aw, c'mon, you SO have a reason!" he said.

"Well, there's, um..." Link stammered. "You know what? I'll just write a note about it and leave it at my house ok? I'm better at writing these kinds of things... I think."

"Hm, you sure ARE acting funny Link," Ilia remarked. "Well, I'm sure it'll all make sense once I read your note."

"The note is for Marth."

"Aw, can't I read it too?" Ilia begged.

Link made a face as he considered Ilia's request. "I guess..." he decided uncertainly, "I mean, if you sure you want to read it..."

"Sure, I'm sure, friend!" Ilia exclaimed.

Link looked very grateful that Ilia had called him friend. Usually she would try to weasel by with calling him 'sweetie' or 'honey' which would so anger Link because he didn't love her like that. He was just her friend. Finally Ilia saw that for herself.

"When are you going to stop by your house, though?" Marth asked.

"YOU JUST REALLY WANT TO KNOW MY SECRET NOW, HUH!?" Link exclaimed testily. "BE PATIENT! I'm going to stop by my house as soon as I go buy some hay for Epona. I need to refill my canteen, so it's not like I'm making an extra trip just to write you a note."

"Hey, I have an idea, Cousin," Marth said. "Why don't you let Ilia and I buy you the hay? Then you can get back on the road sooner-"

"-And you can read my note sooner," Link finished dryly. He wasn't too enthralled by Marth's nosey attitude. "Fine," he reluctantly agreed, heading past the general store, "Meet me at my house with the hay as soon as possible."

"I wonder why Link is so reluctant about telling us," Ilia said as she and Marth walked to Sera's. "I have no idea what it could be."

Marth shrugged. "Me neither. Maybe he has some duty there. Or maybe someone is giving him a reward for saving the kingdom," he guessed.

Back at Link's house, Link had just walked in the front door. He hastily took a piece of paper and pencil of the kitchen table and scribbled something down. Then he left the note on the table and went outside to the water pump.

Ten minutes had elapsed before Marth and Ilia came out of Sera's with hay and socks. They were laughing merrily as Link walked up to them.

"Got the hay, cousin," Marth said. He dropped the bail of hay on the ground in exhaustion.

"Thanks," Link told him, fishing through his Giant Wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing," Marth replied with a somewhat proud smile. "Sera gave it to us for free."

Ilia whirled around to face Marth. "What? So that was the cheapest thing she ever sold?" she asked furiously. She dropped to her knees in disappointment. "Then why did I buy these socks?"

Marth chuckled and took a piece of straw from the bail. He gently lifted Ilia off her knees and gave her the piece. "Here. Put this on your wall."

Ilia blushed. Marth was charming, yet realistic. He wasn't some plastic man obsessed with his appearance who hardly meaning anything he said. Marth had a heart.

"Well, I guess I got to be going now," Link said, slinging the bail of hay over his shoulder.

"Have a good trip," Marth and Ilia said simultaneously.

Link laughed. "You two are really eager to read my note, huh?"

"Sort of," Ilia replied. "So SCRAM!"

With a small chuckle, Link was on his way. He walked past his house and soon disappeared beyond. Ilia and Marth exchanged mischievous glances for a second before scrambling up the ladder to Link's (tree) house.

Marth unlocked the door and before they could say "Ah" in Rouge's ugly voice, they discovered the note near the fire place. Link had dropped it on the floor in front of the roaring fire, in hopes that it might catch on fire and be destroyed before his friends could read it.

"What secret is Link hiding so much that he'd be dumb enough to burn his house down just to have the secret burn with it?" Ilia asked as she picked up the note.

"We shall soon find out," Marth said as he held up the note for both him and the mayor's daughter to read. It read:

_Hey Marth and Ilia!_

_Okay, okay, I'm going to tell you my secret. You see, it's- does it smell like fly spray in here to you?_

"THAT LINK!" Ilia fumed. "He's trying to change the subject!"

Marth laughed. "Let's read on," he suggested. So they did.

_Yeah, Marth I know you know that joke. (There goes my escape...) Okay, the truth is I think I've met the girl of my dreams. Her name is Zelda. I know you've heard of her: she is the princess of Hyrule after all. She and I have become good friends since the Twilian encounter and... well... I'm going to be knighted this weekend. It's not like being knighted makes much of a difference: I'll still be plain old boy that I am now. I'll just have more of a reason to visit Zel -er- Zelda. Yeah. PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE YET!_

_-Link_

"That Link..." Ilia began, letting the note fall to the floor. Marth stared at her curiously, wondering what she would do next. How far would jealousy go? Suddenly the mayor's daughter's eyes filled with tears and she knelt on the floor and wept. Marth put a comforting hand upon her shoulder. Then suddenly Ilia burst out, "I'm so happy for him! He's finally met the girl of his dreams!"

Marth stepped back, shocked. "You-you mean you're not angry?"

"Of course not," Ilia said, looking surprised by the question. "Why would I be angry when I've got-" Suddenly she realized to whom she was speaking. "-things to do!" she finished quickly. She got off the floor and headed for the door. She didn't really want to leave, but she had to so Marth wouldn't realize that what she said wasn't what she had meant to say.

As she was walking down the road away from Link's house, she muttered to herself. "I can't believe I was about to reveal my secret! Ilia! Be more careful," she scolded herself. "But I'm glad I'm over Link. Now we can just be friends. But Marth..." Suddenly she felt something below her feet slip, and before she knew it she was in a pile of hay by Sera's store. Ilia spit the straw out of her mouth and rubbed her sore head. "Ouch," she moaned. Suddenly she saw an outstretched hand in front of her.

"Are you okay?" Marth laughed as he helped her up.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," Ilia said shyly.

"I mean are you really okay?" he asked, concerned. "Why'd you leave so suddenly?"

"I had things to do," Ilia replied. "You know - chores. And, GACK I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO EAT DINNER!"

Marth chuckled. "That's alright. Come to Link's place and I'll make you some."

"Are you sure it won't be too much trouble?" Ilia inquired.

Marth shook his head. "No, not at all," he replied. So the two went walking hand-in-hand to Link's house.


End file.
